Family mediation
Help to agree arrangements for your children, your home and your money after you separate, so you make the decisions and not a judge.
What mediation is
Mediation is a private conversation with a trained, impartial mediator. They help you and the other person talk about the things that need sorting, in a safe and neutral place. They don’t take sides and they don’t decide for you.
It’s usually quicker, cheaper and less stressful than going to court. And because you made the plan together, it’s more likely to work.
Who it’s for
Most people think it’s just for divorcing couples. It isn’t. We help parents, couples, teenagers, grandparents, brothers and sisters, step-families and anyone important to a child, related by blood or not.
What you can sort out
- Where the children live and when they see each parent
- Holidays, birthdays, Christmas and school
- The family home, savings, pensions and debts
- Child maintenance and who pays for what
- How you’ll talk and make decisions in future
We are an accredited Family Mediation Council service. We aim to meet you within a week of you getting in touch, at our office in Ince or by video call.
What happens, step by step
You can refer yourself, or a solicitor or other professional can refer you.
A free first chat
Ring or email us. We listen, answer your questions and tell you honestly if mediation could help.
A meeting on your own
You meet a mediator by yourself for about an hour. This is called a MIAM. We invite the other person to have theirs too.
Talking together
With the mediator there, you talk through what needs sorting. Arrangements for children often take 1 to 3 sessions.
Written down
The mediator writes up what you agreed. You can take it to a solicitor if you want it to be legally binding.
Giving children a voice
Children have worries too. Where will I live? Will I still see Grandma and Grandad? What about my friends, my clubs, the dog?
In child-inclusive mediation, a mediator meets your children on their own, if you both agree. Children aren’t asked to choose or make decisions. They get the chance to share how they feel, and they decide what gets passed on to you. Our service is accredited for this by the Family Mediation Council.
- Children are only seen if both parents agree
- They are never asked to make choices
- Your authority as parents is respected
- It stops children becoming the messenger between you
“It helped me to see things a bit differently. I thought about solutions rather than just seeing problems.”
“I felt it was a good experience because it made it clear as to what would happen.”
Help with the cost
Your first phone or email chat with us is always free. We’ll explain our charges before you decide anything.
The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme
The Ministry of Justice voucher pays towards mediation about children. It isn’t means-tested, and it’s open to parents and grandparents. With TalkFIRST it usually means your first two joint sessions cost you nothing. Read about the voucher on GOV.UK.
Legal Aid
TalkFIRST isn’t registered for Legal Aid. If you might qualify, for example because you get Universal Credit, we’ll point you to a mediator who is. You can check if you can get Legal Aid or find a mediator through the Family Mediation Council.
Urgent appointments
If you need a MIAM or a court form signed quickly, ask us about an urgent appointment within 48 hours.
Live too far from Wigan?
We work with families across the UK and further afield using secure video calls. You can join on your own or together. We can sometimes travel to you too; ask us about it.
What is a MIAM?
MIAM stands for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. It’s a meeting on your own with a mediator, usually 45 minutes to an hour. You talk about what’s brought you here, hear how mediation works, ask questions and look at other options. Then you decide whether to carry on.
Do I have to mediate?
No. Mediation is voluntary. But if you want to apply to the Family Court about children or money, the court expects you to have at least met a mediator for a MIAM first. If you decide not to mediate, the mediator can sign the form the court needs.
What if the other person won’t come?
You can still have your own MIAM. The mediator can then give you the form for court that shows you considered mediation.
Do we have to sit in the same room?
Ask us about this at your first chat or your MIAM, and tell us what would help you feel comfortable. Sessions can also happen by video call.
Is it confidential?
Yes. Your mediator won’t share what’s said, unless there are worries about a child’s or adult’s safety or a crime, when they have a duty to tell the right people.
Is the agreement legally binding?
Not on its own. The mediator writes up what you agreed. You can take it to a solicitor or to court to make it legally binding, for example as a Consent Order.
How long does it take?
It depends on your situation. Arrangements for children usually take 1 to 3 joint sessions. Sorting out everything, including money and property, usually takes 3 to 5. Each session lasts 1 to 1.5 hours.
What if things change later?
You can come back to mediation at any time if your circumstances change or the agreement needs updating.
Is mediation the same as counselling?
No. Mediation isn’t about saving or repairing a relationship. It’s about making practical arrangements and reducing conflict so you can both move on.
How do I know it will be fair?
Mediators are impartial. They don’t take sides, give legal advice or make decisions for you. They make sure both of you are heard and the conversation stays respectful.
What if there has been domestic abuse?
You must feel safe before, during and after mediation. Please tell us if abuse has been part of your experience. Your mediator will talk with you about whether mediation is suitable and what other support there is.
Can I come in the evening?
We have some evening appointments Monday to Thursday (last one at 6pm) and on Saturday mornings. We can’t always guarantee them, but we’ll do our best.
Ready to talk?
The first chat is free and there’s no pressure to do anything after it. We aim to meet you within a week.